Midnight thoughts (sometimes I’m a mess)
Everything you love is here(via lovequotesrus)
Hey, I love this questions :)
Quick answer: you’re not a feminist fraud.
I think feminism turns ugly, divisive, and ineffective when we portray harmless things as harmful because it creates more problems and more division instead of addressing and counteracting actual problems. This happens a lot when we perceive a whole group of people—like men—as the enemy instead of seeing them as people. I’m not encouraging a tolerance for any form of oppression. I’m merely saying that it’s absurd to demonize something that isn’t oppressive—like chivalry. I think a good scripture for us to cling to when we look through a dual lens of Christianity and feminism is this: “To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled.” Titus 1:15
To me, this verse tells us to have mercy and compassion. It tells us that the mindset of the Godly and the ungodly is different. The defiled constantly look for dissension and seeks to find fault, casting a bad light on things that aren’t inherently bad. Here, we’ll focus on chivalry, but this applies to a multitude of topics.
If you are anti-male, anything a man does will be demonized. When you over-generalize a valid social issue, you fall into the “attribution error,” distorting your perception of reality by exaggerating an issue until it becomes personified into who you’ve decided is the enemy (there’s a quick sociology definition for you). When you prioritize self over the greater call of equality and unity, you prevent the change you originally wished for. Men are not the enemy. The enemy (satan) is the enemy, and he wants there to be division. When we care more about validating our personal position in society than we care about the holistic well-being of humanity, we adopt a secular perspective that loses sight of the big picture.
I think the primary resistance of chivalry is primarily due to the fact that it emerged as a societal norm during a more patriarchal time in history, but secondly, that women want to make a point that they. don’t. need. a. man. Ultimately, of course, I believe that we need the Lord—this is obvious, but I’ve heard people use this truth to discount our need for one another. A characteristic of humanity is our neediness—for food, water, shelter, purpose, and connection. The coldest people are those who refuse to admit their need for other people; those who coil themselves inward, detached and removed from connection. It’s evident in our most fundamental longings that we need to be connected to other people in both practical and relational ways in order for 1) society to function, and 2) for our own mental/emotional health. So, if we cannot first acknowledge this basic reality—that humanity needs, then nothing I’m about to say will be accepted. My opinion is that our most prevalent needs (security and purpose) must be met in an intimate relationship with the Lord. Otherwise our needs will be unmet by the frail, inconsistent, limited capacity of other needy humans. Our deepest places of neediness can only be satisfied by One who lacks nothing, and therefore has everything to give. However, in addition, not instead of that, it is true that we were made for community and connection with other people. “It is not good for man to be alone.” This truth pertains to marriage, but is a resounding reality of the human condition. It is not good to be alone. We need each other.
Okay I know that was an extremely extensive detour but it is imperative that we agree that we are NEEDY. So, then, the most divisive thing you can say to another is “you aren’t needed.” Now, don’t confuse my usage of “need.” As I tried to differentiate earlier, there is a difference in a person being needed in a practical, functional, edifying way than being needed in an unrealistic, codependent, idolized manner. I’m saying all of this to draw a contrast between two “feminist” statements: “We don’t need men.” vs. “We don’t need men in order to be valuable or validated.”
Humanity needs each other. Men need women. Women need men. We are both assets to humanity, and equally needed in the dynamic of the church, society, and relationally. I understand that a matter like chivalry is a very small-scale discussion within the feminist discussion, but I think it says so much more than you’d expect. Denying chivalry is the pettiest way to make a statement. Denying chivalry isn’t some ground-breaking way to communicate self-sufficiency. It’s one thing if a man’s chivalrous behavior is an act of pity to passively communicate that a woman is incompetent or helpless. But this is rarely the case. Since when did feminism decide that rejecting a considerate, caring gesture was an effective way to prove that woman are self-sufficient?
If you’re reading this and getting angry at me, please hear me out. There is a difference in a man being considerate and a man being manipulative. Sadly, there are men out there who believe that covering the bill at dinner will earn them an ego-booster in return—namely, a sexual favor. If you’ve been in this situation, I am so sorry for how degrading and frustrating that must have been. But that does not make you a victim of chivalry—it makes you a victim of manipulation.
Chandelier || Sia (Sara Bareilles Ukulele Cover)
This song is such a challenge, but it’s really fun to play and sing. And after I heard Sara Barreilles do it during her Little Black Dress tour, I wanted to try an ukulele version too!
Also, please excuse my messy hair.. I just got back from work and it was pretty windy out!
I think that even harry doesnt know what a cappucino is
I mean, the reason is pretty depressing. Hermione’s had a muggle upbringing, Ron’s had a wizard upbringing, Harry’s had neither.
What a great way to start my morning
With a cappuccino and a broken heart